Agent K (k_in_black) wrote,
Agent K
k_in_black

gated

 
[After this.]

When you've been on the job for thirty-plus years, you're going to know where the bodies are buried, and that's especially true if you're a Man in Black. Which is why K knows all the codes and conduits down to Sublevel 86-D-Epsilon, the very lowest floor (so far) of MiB Headquarters.

Because that's where you have to go to find the department devoted to trans-dimensional and trans-temporal operations. It wasn't Zed's favorite to begin with, but ever since Milliways came on the scene, its status in the bureau couldn't be worse. Even K isn't sure what Agent W did to get assigned down here, but he has to agree with the rest of the bureau that he's 'the unluckiest bastard there is.'

It takes K about forty minutes to get down there, which is probably why W practically hugs him when he comes in through the door. K smiles but keeps an arm out, not being the hugging kind.

"This isn't a social call, kid," K replies gently, as W's expression collapses. "I've got a new assignment for you. Straight from Zed."

W's expression lifts--then halts in suspicion. "This is a joke, isn't it."

"Nope."

"From Zed himself?"

"Yup."

Joyful joy like a joyous thing. "Really? A real assignment? What is it?"

"We're going to be needing a surveillance checkpoint into Loompaland."

"....What?"

"Loompaland. L-O-O--."

"No, I--. I know how to spell it. Loompaland?"

"Yeah."

"But--. But that's a Milliways dimension."

"Yeah."

"Zed wants me to map a path to a Milliways dimension."

"That's right."

"On purpose."

"Yup."

"Zed."

"The man himself."

It's a very confused Agent W who starts punching buttons and turning dials on the impossibly complex control panels scattered around the large chamber. After a couple minutes of this, a large machine against one wall suddenly comes to life. Strange alien symbols flare up around a two-story tall ring as a weird watery bubble pattern erupts in its center.

K shakes his head. "Wish I could see the expression on O'Neill's face when he finds out we borrowed this."

"Sh'yeah. That'll teach Sheppard to play poker with you."

K chuckles as he strolls around the room, killing time while he waits for W to finish. It must have been a couple years since he was last down here. There's that old DeLorean, getting pretty dusty these days, now that Doc Brown's tech is getting about as out-of-date as the car itself. But K is genuinely surprised to see another, equally distinctive truck right next to it. K walks over for a closer look, letting out a low whistle at the sight of....

"Well, will you look at that. A genuine oscillation overthruster."

Then he eyes the dashboard, nearly completely disassembled, its parts scattered everywhere in arm's reach. "What's the story here?"

"Huh? Oh, the guys on Team Banzai want a dvd player."

"You're telling me Buckaroo can't install a dvd player?"

"Not in 1984 he can't. "

"Point taken. What are you giving them for a library?"

"I was thinking 'Big Bang Theory', but most of the jokes wouldn't have happened yet."

K nods. "1984 was pretty bad. We got by on Centaurian soap operas and those Denebian remakes of 'Zatoichi.'"

W shudders. "Man that must've sucked."

"It beat repeats of 'Galactica 1980.'"

W barely manages not to flail in horror.

"They love 'Firefly,' though. Say, you think you could talk to Malcolm Reynolds...?"

K shakes his head. "Sorry, kid. I don't know the Captain too well, and I'm pretty sure he's not the type to make housecalls. Most of those Milliways guys hate going to dimensions where they're fictional. Makes 'em kind of.... twitchy."

W, disappointed, nods. "Yeah, kind of figured. Oh, hey, here you go. One trans-dimensional surveillance checkpoint coming up."

"OK, Tiger. Let's see what the Loompas are up to."

And with that the Stargate abruptly shuts down.

W stares in surprise. "Ohhhh-kay."

K just nods. "I had a feeling it wasn't going to be that easy. Looks like we'll be needing a plan B after all."
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